Every Superhero Needs a Sidekick!

That's right folks- Boo is being promoted to 'Big Sister' and I am set to become a Slave to a Newborn again!

A while ago I wrote a post about my seemingly impossible plan to lose weight whilst on an all inclusive holiday- well, shockingly, that didn't happen. Instead I put on 5lbs from eating too much, drinking too much (only in the first few days) and getting myself knocked up! 

That's right; this is a holiday baby! 

The pregnancy was planned as such, but was decided very much on a whim after DaddyBear and I were left alone after a lovely meal with lots of wine. We'd spent the day watching Boo reject children who tried to play with or near her, in favour of cooing over the babies that were around.

You see Boo is obsessed with babies- I have never seen a child so young be more attentive, sweet and kind to babies as Boo. I thought I liked babies but this is another level! She can spot a baby from a mile off and will coo over them for hours; 

"Ohooohoooh! Hello! Hello baby! Ohooohoooh! Look at his little tiny hands! Ohooohoooh! Look Mummy he's smiling at me, he's loves me does he?!..." 

And she'll stroke their chubby cheeks and tickle their little toes. She brings them toys to 'play' with; when she hates sharing with older kids. In short; she adores babies! And every time I see her around one it melts my heart.

 

So after this wine soaked meal, I said to DaddyBear-

"Seeing Boo with all these babies is making me think that maybe we should have another baby now"

I didn't expect for him to wholeheartedly agree, but when he did, we had a discussion about the pros and cons of changing from our original plan of trying to get pregnant this coming Christmas. 

We went through all the hols we have booked, the weddings we have to go to, the hens and stags for said weddings, and various other commitments. We worked out when the baby would be born if we got pregnant right away. I had no real idea of when was a good time to try, ovulation wise (and I had no wifi signal so couldn't google it!) but we decided to just go for it anyway!

The next day I got some signal and googled ovulation, and it turned out that the previous day had been our optimum day for trying! It seemed it was meant to be! We kept trying for the next few days (soz for sharing) and there seemed to be signs everywhere that I was pregnant! (they were all linked to the name we have picked out for a girl so now am convinced it's a girl!) 

I had to spend the rest of the holiday casually rejecting all the free alcohol on offer- 

"Oh not for me thanks I've got a headache from the sun."

"I'm fine thanks I've already had so much booze today!"

"Ooh yes please" *pretends to take sips then sneakily swaps with Hubs' empty glass*

It wasn't easy I can tell you!

On our last night of the holiday I was violently sick- in the exact same way that I'd been violently sick when I was early pregnant with Boo. So that was it then- I was beyond convinced that I was preggers!

When we got home I did a test immediately (obvs) but it was negative. I did (at least) one every day but I didn't get a positive result until the day after my period was due- and by that time all the neg tests had worn me down and I had convinced myself that I couldn't have been pregnant- so I was shaking with joy when I saw the word 'pregnant' come up! 

I've always wanted babies so very badly; they're all I've ever wanted, so I was always fearful that I might not be able to have them. I got pregnant first try with Boo, and now again with this one- I cannot tell you how thankful and blessed I feel, and I promise I do not take it for granted.

It has been SO hard keeping it from everyone when I just wanted to shout it from the rooftops! (I've been writing a post about The Joys of Early Pregnancy to vent all my many emotions!) But we decided to only tell our parents, DaddyBear's boss, and I told 2 close friends. 

We also told Boo straight away. I know a lot of people would advise against that for many reasons- 

what if something goes wrong? Can a toddler really understand about it anyway? 9 months is a long time for them to have to wait...etc. 

But we know our daughter and she is a bright cookie. She understands about where babies come from, she looks at her own baby photos all the time and talks about when she was a baby, she watches the DVD of the 3D scan we had done of her and talks about when she was in my tummy. For a 2.5yr old, she's not daft. 

I wanted to tell her because I couldn't bear for her to think that I was ill when I was being sick, or that I was cross with her when I was tired. And if anything did/does go wrong I wanted to be honest with her, and not pick up on bad vibes with no clue as to what was going on.

We also knew how absolutely thrilled and excited she'd be! She may have a long wait ahead of her but that's never bothered her before; we tell her everything we're doing well in advance and she gets excited, but doesn't demand for it to happen immediately- she's been waiting for a year to go to Disneyland bless her! 

I've explained that the baby will come out of my tummy after her birthday (which is 2 weeks before baby is due) and that's good enough for her! 

She's been amazing. If I say the baby's making me feel sick or tired she lets me lie down without fuss, and has been letting DaddyBear get her dinner and put her to bed- which she never let him do before! She talks to the baby and kisses my tummy. She comes out with random little thoughts, like:

"When the baby comes out it will play with my baby toys!"

"I'm going to help Mummy look after the baby aren't I?!"

"The baby's going to drink his milk and sleep in my cot, and I will sleep in my big girl's bed"

Seeing her excitement and love for the baby already has just made me fall even more in love with her, and has made me certain that we made the right decision getting pregnant now. This baby will bring so much to all our lives.

I found Boo's first year quite difficult; I was very overprotective and controlling- I wanted everything to be perfect for her, but I struggled with Breastfeeding which really upset me; I felt I'd failed her. 

Even though I made sure we went out everyday, the days with a young baby felt long and I felt a responsibility to be constantly entertaining her and showering her with new experiences. I put a lot of pressure on myself to be the 'perfect' Mum.

I thought I might be worried that I'd feel the same way with another baby, but I really feel that with Boo by my side I will be just fine! 

Unbelievably she hasn't blabbed in front of anyone that doesn't know about the baby yet! I haven't told her its a secret, 'cause then she'd just tell everyone 'there's a secret baby in Mummy's tummy'- it wouldn't stop her! She just can sense that they don't know I guess, because I don't talk about it with them? Or we've just been very lucky!

She's nicknamed the baby 'Bean', (because I told her it was the size of a bean) which I've decided to use as he/she's blog name! Boo and Bean go well together I think! 

We had our scan today which I was so nervous about but was amazing! Little Bean was swimming around, stretching, kicking, bouncing and waving! I cried with relief and happiness!

I have been delighting in telling everyone and it all seems so much more real and amazing now!!! 

I'm very very happy.

Thanks for reading,

MummyBear x